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"Never fall in love with a gay boy. And whatever you do, don't move to New York and invite said gay boy to live with you, to make a fresh start in a new city. After all, that was what I was trying to do. Yeah, I'm only eighteen, which is, as my father says, not old enough to know your head from your ass, but still, I should have known better. After all, I was valedictorian."